Anne Darwin told her £250,000 ($512,820.51) fraud trial in England that the stress of pretending her husband John disappeared in his canoe while paddling the North Sea six years ago had been overwhelming.

The 56-year-old mum lied to the couple's two sons about their father's "death" after plotting with him to fake his disappearance at a time when they were under massive financial pressure.

At times her stress was so great she wanted to kill herself - and wished that her husband had really died.

Anne told Teesside Crown Court how one day she left the family's beachfront home at Seaton Carew, near Hartlepool in north-east England, and pondered ending her life but stopped for the sake of sons Mark and Anthony.

"I ran out of the house and I crossed the road to the sea and I sat ... looking at the sea," she said.

"I considered walking into the sea. I got so desperate. But I couldn't do it because of the effect it would have on the rest of the family, particularly Mark and Anthony, and I didn't have the courage, so I calmed myself down and went back."

Anne, who says she no longer loves John, has admitted helping him stage his own death in March 2002 but denies fraud charges laid against her, claiming she was coerced.

At the time John disappeared, the couple were struggling with debts of £245,000 ($502,564.1) owing on their portfolio of 12 properties.

But after cashing in his life insurance and pension policies the couple used the money to move to Panama.

It was only when John turned up at a London police station last December claiming to have amnesia that their ruse began to unfold.

Anne, who broke down in tears several times during her evidence, said John had suggested disappearing in January 2002 when their debts were mounting but she didn't think he would go through with it.

"He said he was probably worth more dead than alive," she said.

"He said he had a solution and it was to fake his death. I didn't take him seriously."

Anne said hours after John "disappeared" she collected him at a nearby beach and drove him to a railway station as he told her he had faked his own death and was going into hiding.

She said she was "upset" and pleaded with him to come clean.

After spending a few weeks in hiding, John returned to the family home to live in a bedsit the couple owned next door.

While she was pleased to see him, Anne was also angry and urged him again to end the pretence.

"He said, 'we can't because we have come this far'," Anne said.

"He said he was coming back and would help me get things sorted. I always looked to John to sort things."

Asked by her barrister David Waters QC why she didn't go to the police, Anne said: "At the time I didn't think I had a choice."

"I had always done what John had wanted me to do. What John wanted, John got."

As her sons sat listening to her evidence in court, Anne admitted she had told them a "pack of lies" and acted like a grieving widow when she knew their father was alive.

"I wanted everyone to think it was real," she said.

"I honestly felt like a grieving widow. The emotions I showed were genuine emotions."

The trial continues.